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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in thornthornesen's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
1:26 pm
Kissed any of your Facebook friends?
Yes I have

Been arrested?
Does the Marine Corps count?

Been in a fight?
Who would laugh if I said no? I have but I mean, the irony of being a combat vet with no fight.

Fallen fast for someone?
It's all on how you look at it, I suppose.

Regretted a relationship?
Regretted how it ended but not the relationship.

Been in a tornado?
Nope

Stayed in bed all day?
Sure have... and plan to again soon... say, in about, 19 days.

Kissed someone you didn't like?
I guess I have... but if I am kissing someone odds are I like them on some level.

Slept in until 5 PM?
Easy


Fallen asleep at work/school?
Many times

Held a snake?
Of course

Ran a red light?
I am sure I have but can't give you specifics

Been suspended from school?
Nope

Experienced love at first sight?
All depends on how you look at it... in a way, yes I have.

Totaled your car in an accident?
Nope

Been fired from a job?
Nope

Fired somebody?
Kind of, Marine Corps doesn't fire people but I kicked them out of certain jobs.

Sang karaoke?
I don't think so. I am not much of a singer.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Am I human?

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
Can't say I have

Kissed in the rain?
I have indeed

Swam in the ocean?
Yep

Been to a concert?
Yes, even drove quite a while to go

Laughed till you cried?
Sure

Kissed on the first date?
Hmmmmmmmmm

Had a close brush with death (your own)?
Hahaha, a few times

Played spin-the-bottle?
Once... back in middle school

Sang in the shower?
I only do two things in the shower usually, wash myself and think. You all have dirty minds.

Smoked a cigar?
Of course, I enjoy cigars every now and then.

Sat on a rooftop?
It's been a while

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes?
Yes I have

Broken a bone?
Maybe a pinky? If not then no.

Skipped school?
Yes

Got a speeding ticket?
Oh yea

Eaten a bug?
I am sure I have

Sleepwalked?
Fell asleep while walking, does that count?

Walked on a moonlit beach?
I asked someone to marry me on a moonlit beach. It was beautiful that night, lol.

Rode a motorcycle?
Yes I have

Dumped someone?
Hmmm, yea

Seen a baby born?
No but that doesn't mean I don't want to...

Lied to avoid a ticket?
Like they would stop giving me a ticket

Ridden in a helicopter?
Yes and I hate them. Damn accidents waiting to happen.

Played a prank on someone?
Don't I do this daily?

Hit a home run?
Yea

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
More then I want to

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?
Nope, but I have played with them

Thrown up on an amusement ride?
Nope, never felt sick from them

Seriously & intentionally boycotted something?
Yep

Been in a band?
Nope

Knitted or crocheted?
Yea, not so much

Been on TV?
Not that I know of

Shot a gun?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Skinny-dipped?
You better believe it

Eaten whole habanero chili pepper?
Nope

Ridden a surfboard?
No I haven't

Donated Blood?
Yes and I would right now if I could

Grabbed electric fence?
I wouldn't put it past me

Eaten alligator meat?
Never had a chance, wouldn't say no

Eaten cheesecake?
Yes but not recently

Eaten your kids' Halloween candy?
Three times, damn kids need to learn how to take care of their daddy! Wait.... kids.... what kids?

Peed your pants in public?
Maybe

Snuck into a movie without paying?
I don't think I have

Written graffiti?
Yes... but it was in Afghanistan... does that count?

Still love someone you shouldn't?
Why shouldn't I still be in love with them? I mean, a part of me will always love them. I just don't love them the same way.

Think about the future?
Can't stop thinking about the future...

Believe in love?
More then I believe in most other things.

Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
I sleep on the side of the bed that doesn't have stuff on it.
Sunday, May 31st, 2009
4:25 pm
To war, to war! Sound the Gjallarhorn and prepare yourselves. Your youth is spent and the end is here. Gather yourselves for the coming battle and let go your fears. The scars of past mean nothing, the wounds of old forgotten. The only time is now, the only future is death. So grab your weapons and prepare, for the war has come and your place in it beckons. What else is there but this end? What else should there be?
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
2:40 am
We always save the best... and worst for last.
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
2:51 am
See me as I am. I am a person with a million facets. In so many ways I can appear to be a good person... no, an amazing person. A person of depth and beauty. Of amazing love and unbelievable understanding. A person who appears to have nothing but great dreams and a great heart. But that is just one face you choose to look at. I have so many more. Open your eyes and look at me and you will see a human with his own demons. I am a trouble person who spends every day of his life fighting with his inner evils. Its a battle I tend to lose, though I would never tell anyone that. But I never lose completely. And I try and spend every day working on my redemption. Redemption for past evils... but mostly for the evils I know I will probably one day do. If there is a hell, I am destined to go there. For one reason or another. No matter how sorry I feel for everything I have done and will do, I am never sorry enough to be forgiven.

For anyone that reads this I would give my life without a seconds hesitation for you. Not only to save your life but to give you a chance at love and happiness for what is the point of life without those things? I would give everything I had to give you those things. But for all that I am willing to sacrifice, it never takes away the anger and the hatred, the arrogance and the apathy. There is a part of me that loves you and wants you to have the world... yes, any of you and all of you, I am not talking about one person but all people. But, you see, there is also a part of me that hates you, that looks at you with anger and disgust and would not care a second if you were suffering. It is the worst of me and it has been there a long long time. It is the part of me that looks at war and thinks "Why are so few people dying when there are so many that should die?" It is the part of me that I don't hate... no matter how much I don't want to be that person, it is still me. It is who I am and it has shaped my life for so long that I am not me without it. Everyday... every single day, I fight to not become only that person. Everyday I look that part of me in the eye and say "You will not consume me today" only to have it look me back and say "Not today but someday". Some of you might be thinking that I haven't given in yet, that I am strong enough to fight it... but you would be wrong. It is not something I want to fight until I die of old age. Everyday I grow more tired of pushing it back. One day I will find the allure of giving in to my hate too great to say no to and I will one day give up my fight.

And the day before that day I will take a gun to my head and stop myself from going over the edge. As that will be the last fight I will give. I don't know when I will reach that point, only that I will. I have found nothing in this world that will stop that day from coming and at this point I could care less to look. I would rather kill myself for the right reasons then lose myself for the wrong ones. I am human. I have such amazing dreams and such beautiful hope and such terrible and ugly nightmares. And I will sacrifice everything for my dreams and my hopes, if for no other reason than to spite my nightmares.

This is me. This is who I am.
Monday, April 6th, 2009
3:51 pm
I could have been an hero in Iraq. A trigger pull away and I would have been an hero. But I didn't do it. But I will be one soon. An hero here I come.
Saturday, April 4th, 2009
10:47 pm
One more down, just one more to go.

Current Mood: Empty
Thursday, February 5th, 2009
10:56 pm
Writer's Block: Been There, Done That
Any day that I had with Beth. I would love to make every day a new and better experience. I would love to have another day to spend with her. I am a sap but a sap who is in love.
Monday, January 26th, 2009
10:29 pm
My heart is breaking and it feels like there is nothing I can do but sit there and let it break. Hope is so hard to hold on to when your failures make progress seem impossible. But some part of me can not give up that hope. Some part of me can't turn my back on what my heart has screamed at me for so long. My heart may be breaking but it will go out as it lived, beating to the only thing it has ever hard that was worth beating for. I may have made many mistakes but somethings are worth fighting for.
Monday, January 19th, 2009
11:46 pm
Hope is a funny thing. Does it give me strength? Is it my weakness? It all revolves around choice. What do I choose it to be? My strength to keep going when things are tough... or that which will ultimately bring me to my knees in defeat. Life is what you choose it to be. I choose to have a good life. I choose to be strong. I had dreams once. Now I have the wonder of making new ones. Ones that parallel my old ones but are different, as I am different. Hope will make those dreams come true.

Current Mood: tired
Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
11:43 pm
A ghost from the past is lingering around me again. Like a vulture to carrion is what it feels like. This is why I need to delete my myspace. However I do have a few friends on there that it is one of my few means of communication for so to make things more difficult on that front I would "run" from that person again? No, it just isn't worth it. I won't run but I don't have to get anywhere involved in that mess. I may be struggling with a lot of things right now but I am not so stupid as to add more onto my plate. I just can't believe that person sent me a message... at least it was good for a laugh.
Sunday, January 4th, 2009
10:06 am
Burn
Why am I still alive? I know I should have died in Iraq. The number of times I basically begged and teased death to take me was ridiculous. Granted most of the time I wasn't even the one putting me into those situations but I should have died. Then I wouldn't have to wake up to this place. This place which is supposed to be comforting and relaxing and I feel as tense and on edge... no I feel more tense and on edge then if I were walking down a street in Iraq. At least there I knew if I died it wouldn't matter anymore. Here, I have no fucking luxury of death... I looked at death as if it were harmless. It did not scare me, it did not bother me. I was ready and I did not care if it came to me or passed me by. I still do not care. Why should I? If I died today what would I care? I would not mourn my passing. It would not bother me in the least and I wouldn't have to wake up everyday with one of the first thoughts being, "I still feel like a monster." Maybe I could forget if it wasn't thrust in my face everyday. But I am just rambling. Maybe its time to get that tattoo I have been wanting to get. Screw what I was going to do, I got the perfect one. My life's motto now. "I should have died in Iraq." It isn't like I can forget it anyway.
Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
2:44 pm
For every tear that is shed from laughter:

For every tear that is shed from laughter,
If only it would erase the ones from pain
To forget the losses people have suffered
Or the ones that fall from hidden shame

But how often do tears come from joy?
How often are we glad to see them fall?
Like snow falling in the hottest desert
It is one of the rarest things of all

But magic fills every drop that comes
For every tear that is shed from laughter
Has the magic to bring many of us together
And the walls that seperate us will shatter

So cherish every tear drop of joy shed
Relish in its quiet and temporary glory
For how often can you say in your life
That tears have made the greatest of stories
Monday, December 22nd, 2008
1:20 am
Why am I finally home, finally around the people I have waited to be around for four years.... and feel completely alone...

THIS WASN'T THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
Sunday, December 21st, 2008
5:46 pm
Well, I have a beardish growing for the first time in 4 years and it feels... weird. Normal, natural and odd all at the same time. I am going out to see Hair tonight with Beth. Heard it is really good but that there are parts that might bother me because I was/am in the Marines. I don't know what they are talking about but it feels like I have felt every emotion towards war (in general, screw specific ones) and the military that one can feel. All I know is that I am ready to move on with my life and hopefully never have to do those things again. Thus, I am growing out my hair and seeing a play about it. Go me!

Current Mood: lonely
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
9:41 pm
I know I disappeared....
Hello everyone. I am alive. I am home. I am done with the Marine Corps. I apologize for disappearing off the radar completely. Here is the low down. Iraq did a number on me and I have been having some difficulties outside of my head with a couple of things. Parents are getting a divorce being one of them. Bottom line is I am picking up the pieces and trying to get back on track with myself and everyone. So... Hey, who wants to get together for some good quality fun time? I know I could use it and I would like to say hello and I am sorry for basically blowing everyone off.

I am home....

Current Mood: weird
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
6:03 pm
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Sunday I gave heero a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In October I gave domgthcchild a Dutch Oven (-10 points). In March I didn't flush (-1 points). Last week I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In November I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-390 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!

Sincerely,
thornthornesen

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:



Figures
Monday, November 19th, 2007
10:47 am
Alright, the big news... I am coming home for christmas. I will only be back for ten days and odds are you won't see me again for a long time. However I would like to see everyone and I propose getting together one night for dinner and/or drinks. I will let some or all know the details soon. However, no one tell my mother. It is a surprise.
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
7:40 pm
When they told me I could barely keep myself from laughing. I had a massive smile on my face just so I didn't just collapse with the giggles. Should I feel something different? I can't say. I have seen this coming since I was 6. 17 years for those who don't know how old I am. 17 years and my parents finally decided to get a divorce. Oh, and I am almost a 100% certain that my father has been cheating on my mother for the past.... oh say year or so.
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
9:18 pm
Life sometimes puts you in a place where you world breaks apart. You are left with nothing but the pieces of your former self and have no other option other than to pick those pieces up and keep going. Ask yourself, what if the people that shattered you into a million pieces destroy every piece you pick up? What then? How do you carry on when your world can not be rebuilt? What then?
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
12:36 pm
Go to www.careercruising.com
Username: nycareers Password: landmark
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